Helping Men Understand Female Sexual Dysfunction

Media blitzes around male sexual dysfunction drugs such as Viagra have focused attention on a problem that is by no means limited to older men. In fact, women seem more likely to have sexual complaints during their young adult and middle-aged years.
Experts agree that while menÕs sexual dysfunction is often physical in nature, womenÕs sexual function issues tend to be more complicated. Men who understand the differences and work with their mates toward a positive resolution are a big part of the solution, according to Jeffrey Albaugh, an advanced practice urology clinical nurse specialist at Northwestern Memorial HospitalÕs Wellness Institute in Chicago.

Many women suffer

A landmark study on sexual dysfunction prevalence that was published in JAMA (The Journal of the American Medical Association) in 1999, reported that 43 percent of women ages 18 to 59 experience some kind of sexual complaint Ñ often referred to as sexual dysfunction.

Lead author Edward Laumann, Ph.D., the George Herbert Mead Distinguished Service Professor of Sociology at the University of Chicago says: ÒThirty-two percent of women in the sample reported that they lacked interest in sex for at least several months in the past year.Ó

That percentage, he adds, is similar worldwide among women in that age group. In general, women tend to report higher dissatisfaction and dysfunction than men.

About 25 percent of the women surveyed reported being unable to achieve orgasm, 15 percent said experienced pain during sex, 20 percent said sex is not pleasurable, 20 percent had trouble self-lubricating (a problem that worsens with age, according to Laumann), and about 11 percent said they are anxious about performance.

Sexual dysfunction defined

There are four different categories of female sexual dysfunction: desire disorder, sexual arousal disorder, orgasmic disorder and sexual pain disorder.

While hormonal problems might be to blame in some cases, the causes for female sexual dysfunction range from psychological to physiological. Medications, diseases (especially heart disease), surgery, hormones, lifestyle and even pelvic floor muscle problems can come into play.

Unlike their male counterparts, females have no specific Food and Drug Administration-approved medications available for sexual dysfunction. There is a clitoral pump device called the Eros, and there are creams and herbals designed to increase blood flow and sensation. Physical therapists are among the health practitioners who can help women regain pelvic floor function and a more satisfying sex life. Still, researchers are looking for the magic bullet that helps to restore desire and more.

Susan Kellogg, Ph.D., a certified registered nurse practitioner and director of sexual medicine at the Pelvic and Sexual Health Institute of Philadelphia, says the complexity of womenÕs sexuality is vast and each womanÕs case is individual.

ÒIt has to do with the vascular, nervous and muscular system of the genitals and pelvic floor, but it also has so much to do with the context in which a woman makes love and feels [while making love],Ó Kellogg says.

Talk to your mate about the problem

Men should encourage their female partners to seek medical care because some sexual problems in women are linked to heart disease, high blood pressure and other health issues. Still, treatments for sexual dysfunction can only go so far. Often couples need to repair emotional damage that can snowball when one partner has a sexual dysfunction. The bottom line: They need to talk.

Men whose partners have a sexual dysfunction should realize that they are not the only ones who feel like theyÕre losing out sexually. Women who arenÕt performing as they would like to also might be missing sexual intimacy, grieving or feeling frustrated, sad, guilty or incomplete, says Chris Fariello, Ph.D., a licensed marital and family therapist and director of the Institute for Sex Therapy at the Council for Relationships in Philadelphia.

This is not the time for blame or belittling, Albaugh says. Men who approach their female partners should convey empathy and caring. ÒYou love this person. ThatÕs the first and foremost thing to convey. Because you love [her], thatÕs why youÕre striving for intimacy Ñ which is communication at the deepest level,Ó he adds.

Think out of the box and be willing to learn

Part of replenishing a healthy sex life with your partner is understanding the female sexual response cycle and how a womanÕs cycle is different from that of many men. ÒThe female sexual response cycle starts with emotional engagement. For men, it can be more of a physiologic thing,Ó Albaugh says.

Men might think that penis size and duration of penetration are what matters, when in fact most women derive their orgasms from clitoral stimulation, and the penis does not stimulate the clitoris, he says. While vaginal orgasm can occur and the feeling of the penis in the vagina may be pleasurable, the duration of sexual relations and the size of the penis arenÕt necessarily what make men better lovers.

Intimacy and sexuality are ever-evolving and always need attention, Fariello says. ÒWhen we first get into a relationship itÕs just about, kissing, groping, hugging, touching Ñ all these wonderful things. [Later on], that repertoire tends to become more limited. It comes down to kissing, touching and maybe intercourse and, then eventually, maybe penetration and orgasm and thatÕs it,Ó he adds.

ÒFor many couples, itÕs going back and relearning intimacy and how to enjoy each other in many ways Ñ many of them sexual.Ó

Fariello recommends that couples move away from a goal-focused model of intimacy and toward a pleasure-focused model. ÒIn the pleasure-focused model, it doesnÕt matter if the penis works or if a vagina can be penetrated. There are many other ways of creating pleasure in a relationship,Ó he says .

Author: Lisette Hilton [muzi.com]